The Holy Father has authorised the recently appointed Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for Global Warming and Ice-Cap Preservation to draw up new clauses for immediate inclusion in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. These will include the new sins of Global Warming Denial and Carbon Emission Obfuscation.

A new entry (following upon Francis’s recent condemnation of the death penalty) will make excessive carbon emissions a capital offence.

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