Not only has Pope Francis decreed that the Christmas Tree in S. Peter’s Square should be lit by energy saving bulbs provided free of charge by OSRAM, but complementary changes are being made throughout the city state.
Thermostats are being lowered and DAMART underwear is being provided for all Vatican officials by the GRETA THUNBERG CORPORATION. A new electric Popemobile has been ordered. But perhaps the most significant change will affect future Papal visits overseas. Francis will henceforward travel by yacht, assisted only by wind power. Gone are the days of continent-hopping, with its huge carbon footprint. Papal journeys will take longer and journalists will need to be prepared for extended intervals at sea.
The Holy Father will use the time to revise the Catechism, develop new doctrines, and play deck quoits with the press corps.
Fr Antonio Spadaro is being modified to run on hot air alone.