St Thomas Crapper

Vatican sources have announced today that all lavatories in the city state will henceforth be gender-neutral.

Said Papal spokesman Antonio Spadaro: ‘This development is long overdue. Vatican employees who are transsexual or non-binary have long felt discrimination.

Preparations for the next Conclave are already well in hand, and, in case voting is protracted, gender-neutral lavatories are being installed close to the Sistine Chapel.’

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