Punch Up

Pope Francis

When Pope Francis emerged, during his recent pastoral visit to Colombia, with a black eye, the Press naturally assumed some domestic accident – or worse, an incident involving a clash between his security guards and organised crime. But not so.

This blog can exclusively reveal that the Colombian police attribute the assault to a single young man – a traditionalist Catholic priest said to be connected with a terrorist cell close to Cardinal Burke.

Closed circuit television pictures have been posted on the internet, but so far the assailant has evaded capture.

Said an eye-witness account, Dolores de Alimeira, who was standing by the Popemobile: ‘He just leapt forward with a loud cry of ‘Et cum spiritu tuo’, and gave the Pope an almighty punch.’

‘In a moment the young man had disappeared into the crowd. No one saw where he went – which is strange considering the fact that he was wearing a cotta with half a metre of Brussels lace, a feriola and a saturno.’

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