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Dear Theresa,

As your Primate and Father-in-God,  I have decided to give you some good advice.

And since you have not come to me to request it directly, it will appear in the Mail on Sunday (I know, I know!)

As you will be aware, my reputation is big on consensus and reconciliation – they have worked wonders in the Church of England! – so that is what I am suggesting to you.

It’s a capital notion: we just get together a group of the great and the good, who will then steer this Brexit business into the ground – I mean, to a successful conclusion. It won’t be difficult.

After all, everybody who is anybody is (like you and me) opposed to Brexit at heart. So we can just abandon the whole business. We could call it a ‘soft Brexit’. The hoi polloi is so exhausted with politics that they will never notice the difference!

If you, like me, want to get your own way in this matter, and still come out of it with a reputation for compromise and reconciliation, this is the way forward. Though I shall, of course, be saying something rather different in the Mail.

With supreme confidence in my own political judgement,

Your archbishops and friend,


PS As you will see, I am writing this on the back of a proof of my next year’s Christmas card.

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