Happy Day!

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It is with great joy that this blog is able to report that rumours of the tragic death of Pope Francis have been hugely exaggerated. In consequence, there has been no election of a successor.

Though Fr Antonio Spadaro admits that an ‘incident’ did take place on board a 747, he informs us that the Holy Father escaped ‘virtually unscathed’. The news of the Pope’s demise is therefore FAKE NEWS, attributed by Vatican sources to computers in Albania, ‘belonging to rogue elements close to Cardinal Burke’.

Said Fr Thomas Rosica: ‘After examination by his physicians, the Pope is back at his desk, pursuing the reforms the Church so desperately needs, and prosecuting all forms of retrospectivism and rigidity.’

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