Infallibility

 

godfather.pngTo the surprise of many seasoned Vatican watchers, Cardinal Giuseppe Corleone has been named Prefect of the recently formed Sacred Congregation for Subservient Compliance.

Corleone, a native of Caltanissetta, and known in his home diocese as ‘L’enforcer’, had not previously gained a high profile in the media. He now occupies a commanding position in the Curia, with a brief to investigate all other dicasteries  and root out all those who are not identifiably ‘on message’.

Asked whether he thought that his role was anomalous at a time when the Church had just concluded a Jubilee of Mercy, Corleone replied: ‘Mercy was last year; this is the Year of Retribution. We need to cleanse the Vatican of all these rigid little coprophiliacs. This is Europe’s last surviving absolute monarchy; and we intend to keep it that way.’

His department has already been nick-named the ‘Get Burke Brigade’ by junior Vatican officials and journalists alike.

Cardinal Corleone is 78.

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