Retrospective

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The results were revealed today of a major operation by the Metropolitan Police Historic Islamophobia Squad which has resulted in the naming of over two hundred offenders across Europe and throughout history.

The Metropolitan Police Commissioner, Sir Bernard Hogan Howe, gave examples of those he called ‘the most dangerous criminals’, among them Don John of Austria and John Sobieski. Others cited in the report include Rodrigo Díaz de Vivar and Louis Capet, aka Louis IX of France.

‘With help from our friends in Europol,’ the Commissioner went on ’we hope to bring Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain to trial at the Hague for crimes against humanity.’ Disinterment of their remains from tombs in Granada remained, he admitted, a matter of dispute with the Spanish government.

The Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, assured the House of Commons that ‘this government will not rest until all perpetrators of historic Islamophobia are brought to justice’. In response to an intervention by the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Home Office confirmed that no leniency would be shown to the man known as ‘Santiago Matamoros’ simply on account of his claim to be one of the twelve Apostles.

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