Torch Song


‘God is gay’ claims Carol Ann Duffy, the ‘Poet’ Laureate.

Though there is no previous evidence of Duffy either as a poet or a theologian, sources close to the Anglican Bishop of Buckingham, The Rt Revd Alan Wilson (who else?) have claimed that Duffy’s poem is ‘a deep and moving contribution to the debate about the Gender of god.’

‘Not since the mould-shattering contribution of St Paul in Galatians 3: 28 has a theologian got to the heart of this mystery,’ the bishop said.  ‘At first we thought that god was a Father and Creator. But then we realised that s/he is a Woman and a Mother. Now we can set aside all that clumsy analogical language of generation and parturition which has for so long bedevilled our perception. God is Gay! S/he is not father or mother, creator or generator. As s/he told Moses; s/he simply is.’

At this point in the interview Bishop Wilson (in an impromptu Gloria Gaynor impersonation*) burst into song:

I am what I am, I don’t want praise I don’t want pity
I bang my own drum; some think it’s noise I think it’s pretty
And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle
Why not try to see things from a different angle
Your life is a shame till you can shout out ‘I am what I am’.

I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses.
I deal my own deck, sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It’s one life and there’s no return and no deposit
One life so it’s time to open up your closet
Life’s not worth a damn till you can shout out:
‘I am what I am.’

(Cf Exodus 3: 1-6)

*Alan Wilson is married with five children

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