To: HM the Queen, Buckingham Palace, London, SW1A 1AA

His Holiness has asked me to convey his gratitude to your Majesty for your kind Christmas gifts – a haunch of venison from your Balmoral Estates, a turkey from your Norfolk farms and a litre of Speyside malt whisky.

Along with his other Christmas gifts his Holiness will, of course, be giving these to the poor of Rome.

He himself will celebrate the festival with a plate of macaroni and a rusk.

Luciano, Cardinal Pavarroti.